Zigbisslakloglenbamnartten is a god.

He takes the form of a small, cheerful chinchilla.

Zigbisslakloglenbamnartten created gold eight million years ago.

If you believe in Zigbisslakloglenbamnartten, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Zigbisslakloglenbamnartten, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Zigbisslakloglenbamnartten's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Zigbisslakloglenbamnartten's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if five snakes approach from the west.

2. Feed all hungry horses.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Zigbisslakloglenbamnartten loves porpoises, so they must be respected.

5. Never talk about dwarf planets.