Jonhen is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, unsympathetic jaguar.

Jonhen created a Higgs boson nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jonhen, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Jonhen, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Jonhen's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Jonhen's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

2. Do not speak about bananas.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Jonhen.

4. Do not keep eight capybaras in a large pit.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.