Fetmetbet is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, compassionate fly.

Fetmetbet created an up quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fetmetbet, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Fetmetbet, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Fetmetbet's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Fetmetbet's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about melons.

2. Fetmetbet must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Do not wear indigo clothing.

4. Never paint your back orange.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.