Loopminraw is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, irritating badger.

Loopminraw created Africa three billion years ago.

If you believe in Loopminraw, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Loopminraw, it will turn you into a puffin.

Loopminraw's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Loopminraw's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Do not wear pink clothing.

5. Erect a large lead sculpture of Loopminraw on top of all buildings.