Zod is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, uncaring eagle.

Zod created carbon three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zod, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Zod, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Zod's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Zod's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your chest fawn.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Always obey Zod's priests.

4. Never sit near dolphins.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.