Zakpigbum Vonpadcar Libnarhudbafcub is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, dishonest whale.

Zakpigbum Vonpadcar Libnarhudbafcub created the planet Saturn two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zakpigbum Vonpadcar Libnarhudbafcub, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Zakpigbum Vonpadcar Libnarhudbafcub, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Zakpigbum Vonpadcar Libnarhudbafcub's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Zakpigbum Vonpadcar Libnarhudbafcub's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt snails.

2. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Squirrels are not to be trusted.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Never think ill of sick manatees.