Rankenpom is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, confident armadillo.

Rankenpom created the planet Venus seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Rankenpom, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Rankenpom, it will cry a lot.

Rankenpom's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Rankenpom's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if seven capybaras approach from the east.

2. Hide from brown mice for they are unholy.

3. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.