Gofdagkom is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, tiresome mink.

Gofdagkom created life two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gofdagkom, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Gofdagkom, she will attempt to scare you with floods.

Gofdagkom's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Gofdagkom's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the south.

2. Never talk about frogs.

3. Always help sick whales.

4. Never talk about spacetime.

5. Run away if six turtles approach from the west.