Bassbapcum is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, competent giraffe.

Bassbapcum created the planet Saturn two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bassbapcum, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Bassbapcum, he will turn you into a rock.

Bassbapcum's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Bassbapcum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Never look at galaxies.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Erect a giant zinc sculpture of Bassbapcum in the centre of the settlement.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.