Parkfat is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, smart clam.

Parkfat created the Black Eye Galaxy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Parkfat, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Parkfat, it will come to you in dreams.

Parkfat's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Parkfat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in orange rooms.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Do not kill rats.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.