Gadfotmon is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, deceitful guinea pig.

Gadfotmon created a quark five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gadfotmon, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Gadfotmon, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Gadfotmon's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Gadfotmon's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry ducks.

2. Do not speak about oranges.

3. Never think about stars.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Never talk about optics near sheep while wearing mauve tights.