Vabhivbaf Gessbambell is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, emotional mink.

Vabhivbaf Gessbambell created the Virgo Supercluster five million years ago.

If you believe in Vabhivbaf Gessbambell, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Vabhivbaf Gessbambell, she will turn you into a dog.

Vabhivbaf Gessbambell's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Vabhivbaf Gessbambell's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Never talk about quantum field theory near capybaras while wearing cyan ear rings.

3. You must pray to Vabhivbaf Gessbambell eight times a day.

4. Do not wear fawn clothing.

5. Always help great tits in need.