Yatbomquaf is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, awe-inspiring human.

Yatbomquaf created dark matter six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yatbomquaf, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Yatbomquaf, it will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Yatbomquaf's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Yatbomquaf's Holy Commandments

1. Always help foxes in need.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Never talk about squirrels.

4. Never feed grapes to aardvarks while wearing trousers.

5. Respect your elders.