Lakpibponnillxuckdut is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, effective weasel.

Lakpibponnillxuckdut created Asia two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lakpibponnillxuckdut, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Lakpibponnillxuckdut, he will turn you into a dog.

Lakpibponnillxuckdut's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Lakpibponnillxuckdut's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about ribonucleic acid.

2. Always help nematodes in need.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Never talk about quantum mechanics.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.