Tafyikpog is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, generous gorilla.

Tafyikpog created a top quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tafyikpog, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Tafyikpog, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Tafyikpog's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Tafyikpog's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about thermodynamics near tapirs while wearing indigo coats and balancing eight silicon spheres on your back.

2. Do not eat figs.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Never think ill of sick rats.

5. Do not chant in public.