Habafflig is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, pitiless wyvern.

Habafflig created viruses nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Habafflig, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Habafflig, it will laugh at you.

Habafflig's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Habafflig's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Habafflig.

2. Never laugh in holy places.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Never talk about tapirs.

5. Fast once a month.