Gubsterfensandcit is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, witty bear.

Gubsterfensandcit created a strange quark two years ago.

If you believe in Gubsterfensandcit, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Gubsterfensandcit, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Gubsterfensandcit's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Gubsterfensandcit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt badgers.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Always help sick bats.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.