Jarnliptik Ortrenhap is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, emotional pig.

Jarnliptik Ortrenhap created the Sombrero Galaxy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jarnliptik Ortrenhap, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Jarnliptik Ortrenhap, it will think nothing of it.

Jarnliptik Ortrenhap's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Jarnliptik Ortrenhap's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.