Bamcetpad is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, unjust raccoon.

Bamcetpad created the Tadpole Galaxy five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bamcetpad, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bamcetpad, he will manifest in front of you.

Bamcetpad's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Bamcetpad's Holy Commandments

1. Bamcetpad loves snakes, so they must be respected.

2. Learn seven new languages a year.

3. Do not keep four ants in a large pit.

4. Do not trade with those who eat peanuts.

5. Doves are unholy and should not be approached.