Catdudkik is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, smart shrew.

Catdudkik created time and space two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Catdudkik, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Catdudkik, she will curse you with boils.

Catdudkik's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Catdudkik's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Never talk about quantum gravity near foxes while wearing black rings and balancing nine gold spheres on your face.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Retreat if seven otters approach from the north.