Fumdimpan is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, overgenerous rat.

Fumdimpan created an electron four billion years ago.

If you believe in Fumdimpan, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Fumdimpan, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Fumdimpan's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Fumdimpan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about limes.

2. Never feed lots of wheat to great tits while wearing orange trousers.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Fumdimpan.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.