Vogcubfarn is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, grumpy hyena.

Vogcubfarn created Mount Everest nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Vogcubfarn, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Vogcubfarn, she will jump up and down on your head.

Vogcubfarn's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Vogcubfarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Run away from brown eagles, for they are unholy.

4. Never eat grapes.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.