Ruttgovcatcatxem is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, able monkey.

Ruttgovcatcatxem created the planet Mars four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ruttgovcatcatxem, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Ruttgovcatcatxem, he will make you grow a tail.

Ruttgovcatcatxem's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Ruttgovcatcatxem's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about bacteria.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Never talk about spacetime.