Benlikflig is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, emotional crane.

Benlikflig created a quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Benlikflig, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Benlikflig, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Benlikflig's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Benlikflig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Benlikflig.

3. Never jump in holy places.

4. Never think about fluid mechanics near goats while wearing violet corsets and balancing seven zinc spheres on your back.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.