Jadbarncat is a god.

It takes the form of a large, thoughtless ferret.

Jadbarncat created Asia eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jadbarncat, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Jadbarncat, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Jadbarncat's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Jadbarncat's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Never wear black tights.

3. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

4. Hide if four tapirs approach from the east.

5. Always take life seriously.