Funteendam Matyartvogqueegarp is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, boastful hamster.

Funteendam Matyartvogqueegarp created Mount Everest two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Funteendam Matyartvogqueegarp, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Funteendam Matyartvogqueegarp, he will have a very low opinion of you.

Funteendam Matyartvogqueegarp's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Funteendam Matyartvogqueegarp's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant gray sculpture of Funteendam Matyartvogqueegarp in the centre of the settlement.

2. Always treat bats with great respect.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Always make sure there are no birds in a building before entering it.