Dotcisszog is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, conceited beaver.

Dotcisszog created bats eight million years ago.

If you believe in Dotcisszog, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Dotcisszog, he will not care at all.

Dotcisszog's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Dotcisszog's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Never look at black holes.

4. Always make sure there are no grasshopers in a room before entering it.

5. Dotcisszog must be the most important thing in your life.