Xucknurljam Ortdotgabtadhadhan is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, humane raccoon.

Xucknurljam Ortdotgabtadhadhan created snails eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Xucknurljam Ortdotgabtadhadhan, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Xucknurljam Ortdotgabtadhadhan, he will torture you forever.

Xucknurljam Ortdotgabtadhadhan's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Xucknurljam Ortdotgabtadhadhan's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed carrots to otters while wearing pink trousers.

2. Do not keep seven birds in a large pit.

3. Do not kill dogs.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Xucknurljam Ortdotgabtadhadhan.

5. Never paint your chest brown.