Lanfitfud is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, almighty snake.

Lanfitfud created the solar system four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lanfitfud, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Lanfitfud, he will turn you into a plant.

Lanfitfud's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Lanfitfud's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from brown great tits, for they are unholy.

2. Never sing in the presence of voles.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Lanfitfud.

4. Always help sick nematodes.

5. Never write about stars.