Nurtlikcad is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, self-confident ferret.

Nurtlikcad created an electron four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurtlikcad, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Nurtlikcad, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Nurtlikcad's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Nurtlikcad's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed bananas to snakes while wearing black boots.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Do not shave your arms.

4. Worship no other gods but Nurtlikcad.

5. Do not cook food in pots.