Armtikjip is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, selfish bear.

Armtikjip created dark energy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Armtikjip, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Armtikjip, he will have a very low opinion of you.

Armtikjip's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Armtikjip's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick grasshopers.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Always make sure there are no ducks in a room before entering it.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Never talk about fluid mechanics near porpoises while wearing red kilts.