Midfitbif is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, idiotic cat.

Midfitbif created the planet Mars three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Midfitbif, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Midfitbif, she will turn you into a sheep.

Midfitbif's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Midfitbif's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about chromosomes.

2. Erect four gold sculptures of Midfitbif on top of important buildings.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Run away from purple nematodes, for they are unholy.

5. Never paint your arms red.