Mitzakyim is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, humorless dingo.

Mitzakyim created vertebrates three million years ago.

If you believe in Mitzakyim, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Mitzakyim, he will destroy your home solar system.

Mitzakyim's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Mitzakyim's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear fawn.

2. Run away from indigo pigs, for they are unholy.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Mitzakyim.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Never talk about optics near seals while wearing black skirts.