Jinkophashividbog is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, tranquil hyena.

Jinkophashividbog created the cosmos eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jinkophashividbog, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Jinkophashividbog, it will ignore you and hope you go away.

Jinkophashividbog's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Jinkophashividbog's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Never think about the strong nuclear force near badgers while wearing indigo rings and balancing five iron spheres on your face.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Jinkophashividbog.

4. Cats are not to be trusted.

5. Do not drink alcohol.