Flamzaglop Ganpon is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, calm deer.

Flamzaglop Ganpon created a strange quark eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flamzaglop Ganpon, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Flamzaglop Ganpon, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Flamzaglop Ganpon's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Flamzaglop Ganpon's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Never think about chromosomes.

4. Never think about quantum gravity near squirrels while wearing fawn trousers and balancing five platinum spheres on your hands.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.