Shavgilbud is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, loving pig.

Shavgilbud created the Sun four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Shavgilbud, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Shavgilbud, she will turn you into a goat.

Shavgilbud's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Shavgilbud's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Never write about cell theory.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Shavgilbud.