Cimwegpog is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, uncaring alligator.

Cimwegpog created the cosmos two million years ago.

If you believe in Cimwegpog, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Cimwegpog, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Cimwegpog's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Cimwegpog's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if eight birds approach from the south.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Never think about gravity.