Waplooppit is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, merciless butterfly.

Waplooppit created a bottom quark seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Waplooppit, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Waplooppit, it will refuse to believe in you.

Waplooppit's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Waplooppit's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention eagles.

2. Retreat if seven aardvarks approach from the west.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of platinum.

4. Waplooppit must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Respect your elders.