Artvadpop is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, charitable eagle.

Artvadpop created a bottom quark six billion years ago.

If you believe in Artvadpop, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Artvadpop, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Artvadpop's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Artvadpop's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear zinc on your body.

2. Never feed lots of tomatoes to snails while wearing purple hats.

3. Erect a giant indigo sculpture of Artvadpop in the centre of the settlement.

4. Run away if five goats approach from the north.

5. Do not kill snakes.