Kanstafflan is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, ill-tempered bat.

Kanstafflan created the planet Jupiter seven million years ago.

If you believe in Kanstafflan, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Kanstafflan, it will turn you into a sparrow.

Kanstafflan's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Kanstafflan's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate seals.

2. Kanstafflan must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Kanstafflan.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.