Labmonzim is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, resourceful unicorn.

Labmonzim created the planet Earth four years ago.

If you believe in Labmonzim, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Labmonzim, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Labmonzim's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Labmonzim's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Never mention monkeys.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Fast once a month.