Zimcidran is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, staggering tortoise.

Zimcidran created vertebrates three billion years ago.

If you believe in Zimcidran, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Zimcidran, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Zimcidran's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Zimcidran's Holy Commandments

1. Zimcidran must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Always obey Zimcidran's priests.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Retreat if six sheep approach from the north.

5. Do not dye your hair blue.