Vigfidxuck is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, conceited guinea pig.

Vigfidxuck created an up quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Vigfidxuck, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Vigfidxuck, it will boil you in a big pot.

Vigfidxuck's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Vigfidxuck's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear pink.

2. Erect a giant yellow sculpture of Vigfidxuck in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never paint your chest gray.

4. Hide if nine badgers approach from the east.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.