Farpadfed is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, annoying newt.

Farpadfed created dark energy five billion years ago.

If you believe in Farpadfed, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Farpadfed, she will cry a lot.

Farpadfed's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Farpadfed's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention tapirs.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Never think about thermodynamics near gulls while wearing orange rings and balancing six tin spheres on your face.