Fosstapomin is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, temperamental deer.

Fosstapomin created the planet Mars four million years ago.

If you believe in Fosstapomin, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Fosstapomin, he will turn you into a plant.

Fosstapomin's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Fosstapomin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Never feed rice to birds while wearing blue kilts.

3. Never write about nebulae.

4. Never eat bananas.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.