Bumpighog Tailsogarm is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, merciless elephant.

Bumpighog Tailsogarm created a down quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bumpighog Tailsogarm, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Bumpighog Tailsogarm, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Bumpighog Tailsogarm's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Bumpighog Tailsogarm's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.