Quafhenveg is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, stupid crocodile.

Quafhenveg created the Tadpole Galaxy eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quafhenveg, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Quafhenveg, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Quafhenveg's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Quafhenveg's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Do not take Quafhenveg's name in vain.

3. Never talk about badgers.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Worship no other gods but Quafhenveg.