Gofstikbeg is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, benevolent dove.

Gofstikbeg created gold nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gofstikbeg, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Gofstikbeg, she will send minions to preach to you.

Gofstikbeg's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Gofstikbeg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear zinc on your body.

2. Always make sure there are no doves in a building before entering it.

3. You must pray to Gofstikbeg three times a day.

4. Never think about dark matter near voles while wearing gray jumpers and balancing nine tin spheres on your feet.

5. Squirrels are not to be trusted.