Carbestbop is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, dishonest porpoise.

Carbestbop created the solar system three million years ago.

If you believe in Carbestbop, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Carbestbop, she will try to impress you with trees.

Carbestbop's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Carbestbop's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

3. Do not drink water in indigo rooms.

4. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place in orange.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.