Ganfarnpig Legjanbed is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, moody lobster.

Ganfarnpig Legjanbed created the planet Saturn four billion years ago.

If you believe in Ganfarnpig Legjanbed, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Ganfarnpig Legjanbed, she will destroy your favourite star.

Ganfarnpig Legjanbed's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Ganfarnpig Legjanbed's Holy Commandments

1. Never sprint near tortoises.

2. Never wear tights.

3. Never talk about dwarf planets.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Never eat bark.